Overindulging is such a commonplace issue, affecting so many people, that it can even be spelt as one word (as opposed to two hyphenated words; over-indulging). With all the stresses that beset us from one day to the next, it’s hardly surprising that so many of us succumb to the idea of giving ourselves ‘little rewards’. It could be an extra cigarette, pushing you slowly from ten-a-day to twenty and beyond. It could be that alcoholic drink, coming a little too early in the day, sipped or glugged in secret in the men’s room at work. Or perhaps you start needing prescription medication to manage your anxiety, making sure you find a doctor who’s liberal with Valium so that you have plenty of ‘mother’s little helpers’ whenever you need that little bit of instant relaxation. Before long, you’re hardwiring a habit and it becomes ingrained. Soon, you find yourself skipping that gay massage session you’d been so looking forward to because you want to spend more time in the bars.
No one could blame you and, in fact, more and more people are beginning to understand that overindulgence is not necessarily some failing of the character or ethical lapse. Even without anything particularly bad happening, our lives are tough. But when an actual disaster occurs, be it the death of a loved one, the loss of a cherished job, a financial scare or worse, then the train can come off the tracks with alarming speed. Life can go from a complicated but functioning machine to total wreckage and write-off in the blink of an eye. You’d be surprised at just how quickly the bottom can fall out from a person’s world, leaving them to plummet helplessly to some unknown depth, or possibly never stop falling. That’s why we think it best to manage one’s life with very conscious acts of self-love and relaxation. Gay massage is one way to remedy anxiety. It’s drug-free and it’s not habit-forming. Allow yourself this experience because it’s like a magic carpet ride of the senses that heals you and clarifies your emotions. Failing that, make sure that every day has some part of it devoted to self-care. It could be meditation, it could be mindfulness. It could be a bracing 5km run.
What you should begin to notice is that your reliance on false self-care (e.g. getting sloshed, chain-smoking, drug-binging) should diminish as your reliance on genuine self-care starts to flourish. If you find that this doesn’t happen, then consider hypnotherapy, harm management groups or abstinence-based treatments. The most important thing is that you do not spend decade after decade in an anaesthetised state, not developing emotionally, not growing, just numbed and foggy-headed, sleep-walking through life.