Do you find it hard to make the first move? You’re far from alone. Taking chances, approaching someone you’ve never met before, isn’t easy for everyone. But sometimes it’s the only way to live. To be bold and muster some fortitude. Just think of all the people – potential friends, lovers and partners – who slip through your hands if you never even say hello. Of course, online it can be a lot easier, but it’s not the same as spotting someone in real life, across the room in a bar or club, and making some magic right there and then on the spot by going up and introducing yourself. It’s confident and sexy to be able to do this. But it doesn’t always come naturally. Yes, there are assertiveness classes and relaxation therapies like gay massage, that can help you develop the confident version of yourself. But eventually, you just have to take that chance and step into the unknown, and no amount of preparing can guarantee you the result you want. But the worst that can happen is very short-term bruised feelings and you can laugh those off with friends in a matter of moments.
It may be that youth spoiled you. A lot of us were able to rely on dewy-eyed prettiness or rugged good looks so that we never had to make the first move. We could just make eye contact and let the other man or woman come up to us, never having to venture anything or put our feelings at risk. But we may now find that, as handsome as we might be at forty, we can no longer just assume that people will approach us of their own accord. To our dismay, we find we’ve no experience to fall back on, no practice in the art of making the first move. We’re like adolescents again, unsure and uncertain, even if we’re able to make a superficial show of confidence. The time is now. We must simply bite the bullet and be brave. Taking the easy path – instant hookups online – won’t let us live to the fullest. If we see someone in a social setting who ticks all the right boxes for us, we should strike while the iron’s hot and ask for his or her number. There’s more beauty, more poetry and more sensuality in off-line hookups (or dates) than there is in the online equivalent. No one’s suggesting that we turn our backs on the internet – it still serves a very useful purpose and, of course, sometimes long-term love can be found that way. But we should embrace the more adventurous world of off-line sex and romance. The serenity and peace brought about by a gay massage session can help to foster long-term confidence and a sense of purpose, so that we can shake off the shackles of shyness and inhibition once and for all.